I bought one of those basic "no contract' cell phones and it only had one available ringtone. Bubbles! So far, I've missed 80% of my calls! Stupid phone!

Every evening I get a least 2 calls from political survey outfits asking me who I support! I tell them "anyone who supports subsidized algae production!"

When she hit 80, Aunt Edna started over-accessorizing with gold eye liner and blue lipstick! She also wore stripes in hopes that they made her look thinner! Sigh!