Ladies, time to start dating older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early!

I'm giving up drinking for a month.

Sorry, bad punctuation.

I'm giving up. Drinking for a month! 

Before you complain about your current situation, just remember, someone is quarantined with your EX! 

I used to spin that toilet paper roll like I was on the 'wheel of fortune!'

Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe!